advice/perspective on jobs, work and management

The company complainer wastes all of my time

I’m the controller for a small company, which basically means I do all the accounting for my firm. I also do most of the HR work as well (administering benefits, compliance, etc). I wear many “hats,” in other words – and if sounds like a lot, it is. But I love my job.     

      Here’s the deal: Most of my colleagues are great, but there’s one who’s a “complainer.” He’s always pestering me with what are, in my opinion, pointless and annoying questions. Or he’s just being a pain. For instance, he consistently whines about how his mileage or cell phone reimbursement isn’t enough, yet I’ll have to nag him to get his receipts in on time (and one or two are always missing, of course!) And the other day he made some comment about a relatively small increase in our healthcare premiums, saying he’d “probably have to look into Obamacare to see if he could find something cheaper.” My problem is that I end up dealing with him a lot because of my many responsibilities, and he consumes a disproportionate amount of my time compared to his more reasonably-minded coworkers. I realize it’s all part of the job, and I’m fine with that. But I feel like he’s wasting my time unnecessarily. Is there anything I can do? – Name withheld 

It’s true. Often just a few employees—typically the most troublesome—consume the most of management’s time. But not in a good way.

The 80-20 rule is frequently invoked in instances such as this. Also known as the ‘Pareto Principle’, it posits that 80 percent of a manager’s time is spent helping just 20 percent of their employees, typically the lowest performing. (Another variation states that 80 percent of all organizational work is done by the highest performing 20 percent of employees.) Allocating your time in this way is widely considered to be a big mistake, however. Organizational interests are much better served when managers spend most of their time and energy on their best employees, not their worst.

But that’s not really your situation, is it?

You’re not this person’s manager, after all. You just happen to be on the receiving end of his questions, comments, concerns, and complaints because of the nature of your role(s).

Let’s start with the obvious: This individual apears to be unhappy about something. Maybe it’s his job specifically, or the workplace more generally. Perhaps he feels isn’t paid enough, doesn’t have a much decision-making power as he’d like – or perhaps he’s just suffering from feelings of hopeless negativism. Who knows?

What you can be sure of, however, is that it’s not your place to figure out. That’s for his manager to investigate. After all, you want him to taking up less of your time, not more.

So here’s a something you might try (if you haven’t already): The next time he complains to you about his mileage reimbursement, for example, say something like “Hey – I’m right there with you. If it were up to me, it’d be a lot more generous…” Or “Actually, I thought we’d be all be driving company Teslas by now. So go figure…” Then leave it at that.

This approach tends to be effective for the following (4) reasons:

(1) You’ve acknowledged the complaint. He’s had his say, and you’ve heard him out. Often these things boil down to the person simply wanting to vent.

(2) By taking his side in the matter (or at least appearing to), he can’t take it out on you. By appearing to commiserate, you seem sympathetic. As a result, he can’t really be mad at you, can he? After all, you’re agreeing with him.

(3) It shuts down the conversation. By taking his side, there’s really nothing left for him to say – at least to you. He could go to his manager (or to yours), of course, but odds are he won’t. If he were, he’d probably have done so already. Again, this is most likely about venting, not necessarily getting his way. But if you think he will go up the chain of command—and that’s something you’d like to avoid—this may not be the best approach. In that case, go to your own manager first. Explain what’s going on, and how you’re handling it – but be sure to frame it as something they should simply be aware of, not that it’s an actual issue. Managers love it when you come to them with a problem you’ve already solved (or are solving), and therefore doesn’t require them to do anything.

(4) You’ve stood your ground. Yes – you claim to be taking his side. But you and I both know you’re not – nor are you giving in. And you’re not promising to take his demands up with management, or follow up with him in any way on the issue. The mileage (or phone, or healthcare) buck literally stops with you.

Of course, if you actually do have some say in your company’s reimbursement policies, or the healthcare premiums it charges its employees, I don’t recommend using this approach. Misrepresenting yourself to anyone you work with, for any reason, or under any circumstances is never a good idea. You’d be much better off doing what you’re doing already – that is, listening to his complaints as patiently and professionally as possible.

After all, everyone—including the company complainer—deserves to be heard once in a while.

[ 1 Comment ]

  1. Guil

    This is solid advice for people with issues related to policies or procedures. But what if you have co-workers who have correctly identified you as an empathetic person who wants to bend your ear about the failings of fellow employees and the boss you both share.

    I’ve taken the time to listen to people (always strongly reminding them I won’t take sides and that we all bring our respective strengths and weaknesses to the job) – and will probably continue to do so – if I sense a real need to vent. And when I discover this is more a basic personality trait versus a temporary, work circumstance-driven need, I am better at drawing boundaries.

    But if the person’s psychological make-up is such that this is a pattern of behavior versus an occasional thing, the approach of expressing the mildest of agreement with a dash of humor doesn’t exactly fly with this type of person, in my experience. Am I the jerk for falsely allowing the other person to engage with me in this way in the first place? Any advice would be greatly appreciated…


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