I have colleagues who repeatedly question me about my religious views, and I can’t get them to stop. I’ve tried telling them that I don’t discuss my faith/spirituality at work, but they just won’t listen. Now they’ve started asking me ‘Why do you hate [DEITY REDACTED]?’ – even in the presence of other coworkers! I informed my manager of what’s happening, and human resources too, but so far they seem unwilling to address the issue. The impression I get is that I can either put up with it, or find somewhere else to work. Now I feel like I’m being ignored at meetings, and that people are avoiding me more generally. What can I do? I realize that this is an especially touchy situation given the current ideological climate in this country… – Name withheld
Ask for a raise. Or a promotion.
Preferably both.
Here’s why: If what you say is true, it’s time to seriously consider suing your employer. That might sound extreme, but the treatment you describe isn’t just morally reprehensible. It’s in clear violation of any number of laws. It’s also distinctly un-American, regardless of the “current ideological climate.”
So yes – legal action here is appropriate.
But before any of that, there’s a few things you’ll want to do to prepare.
First, you’re going to need to be able to demonstrate a quantifiable loss of income as a result of your discrimination. This is where asking for a raise comes in. Having requested, and then been denied this raise—as you almost certainly will be—you’ll now be able to put a specific dollar amount on your loss. For every day, week, or month that goes by with you at your current level of pay, take the difference between that and what you requested and add that to your total claim. (So keep this in mind when deciding how much to ask for.)
Second, you’ll want to start looking for another job.
It probably goes without saying, but there is absolutely no future for you whatsoever at this organization. If you decide to sue, that of course will only make things worse. But even if you stay, being marginalized in the way that you are is absolutely going to negatively impact your on-the-job performance. You might like to believe you’re “above it all,” but that’s just wishful thinking.[1] You’ll be anxious, frustrated, less motivated, and therefore less capable of doing your job to the best of your ability. Then, in what can only be considered the deepest of ironies, your employer is going to evaluate you accordingly. By staying, in other words, you risk doing lasting and irreversible damage to your career.
So let go of whatever professional ambitions you may have had for yourself at this company, and start looking for a way out.
(Mind you, I absolutely hate giving someone like yourself this advice, given your circumstances. Why should you, who are so obviously in the right here, be the one who’s forced out? It’s your meddlesome coworkers, your enabling manager, and your criminal HR department who should be scrambling to find work, not you.)
And then finally: In what amounts to another profound irony, your present circumstance is going to make the already difficult task of landing another job even more challenging. Prospective employers are certain to ask why you’re looking around – and how will you answer? Some wishy-washy reply about “needing a change” before quickly changing the subject so as not to blurt out the real reason? An experienced interviewer will pick up on this, and follow up – or interpret your ambiguity/hesitancy as a potential red flag, killing your candidacy. So unless you’re a world class liar, your current narrative is a problem.
Which is why you should ask for a promotion too.
Again, you won’t get it – but that’s not the point. Now you have a legitimate, and professionally flattering reason for your job search. Here’s your words for interviewers:
You know, for the most part I’ve been very, very happy with my current employer. And I appreciate the opportunities I’ve had there to learn and grow. In fact, I recently asked my manager about taking on more responsibility, but unfortunately they weren’t able to offer me anything at the moment. So I thought I’d explore my options. Your organization seems like an excellent fit for me.
And that’s it. Don’t mention your evangelizing coworkers, the obvious discrimination to which you’ve been subjected, or management’s disappointing complicity in this violation of your basic religious freedoms. In fact, I’d advise you never to talk about this experience ever again under any circumstances in a professional context. You’ve voiced your concerns, and had your say. To express frustration beyond this is to risk earning a reputation as a complainer or trouble-maker. That’s not a good look for someone engaged in a serious job hunt either.
So get out, then sue.[2]
In the meantime, there is one other thing you might do to silence your preachy officemates.
Keep in mind that you’re at work when this happens. And for most people, two things are almost universally true about work: (1) They don’t want to be there, and (2) when they are there, they don’t want to do more of it.
You can use this to your advantage.
So, for instance, the next time one of your sermonizing colleagues starts in, say you’re really busy at the moment, and don’t have time to chat.
Then give them something to do.
Ask them to a meeting they don’t need to attend, or is unrelated to the scope of their work. Have them proofread documents outside their area of expertise, or irrelevant to what they do. Or just include them on an email chain they’d rather not be a part of. Whatever. Load up their schedule; fill up their inbox.
The point is to get them to associate talking to you about your religion with more work for them. Do that, and my guess is they’ll avoid you like a biblical plague. And when they don’t follow through on your requests for help—and once again, I guarantee they won’t—document that as further evidence of your being discriminated against based on your religious beliefs.
Got all that?
Now I realize what I’m suggesting may seem less than entirely forthright, and therefore might make you uncomfortable. If so, let me just remind you that it was your employer who first broke trust. When you took this job you undoubtedly assumed your fundamental right to practice the religion (or non-religion) of your choosing would be respected. Had you known it would not, you probably would have kept looking (or asked for a lot more $$$). Since you weren’t informed of this, you deserve to be justly compensated.
Just how much you should receive is perhaps best left to the courts to decide.
NOTES:
[1] For a discussion of why good management practices result in improved employee performance and increased productivity, please see: Pfeffer, Jeffrey. The Human Equation – Chapter 2: The Business Case for Managing People Right. (Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press) 1998. Also: Sirota, David; Louis A. Mischkind, & Michael Irwin Meltzer. The Enthusiastic Employee. (Upper Saddle River, NJ: Wharton School Publishing) 2004.
[2] It’s conceivable, of course, that your employer might give you that raise or promotion. Having already informed HR of your mistreatment, undoubtedly somebody, somewhere in management realizes you have a solid foundation for a lawsuit. They may grant your request(s) in the hopes it’ll shut you up. If they do, take the money and the title, but keep looking. You can use these things to negotiate even better terms with your next employer.
